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Comic for: August 5th, 2013
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The Life of Ted!: "18 Hours In"
Posted: Monday August 5th, 2013 by

If Ted is anything like me (and he is) he'd want to make that drive in one long push, stopping only for gas, MAYBE food in an absolutely obvious dive with a great name like The Moose's Nuts or some such. While you're on one of these ridiculous drives in a ridiculous truck, you go through phases. There's that initial excitedness about being on your way. Being tired enough to drive cross eyed for a while. That moment when you push through the wall of tired and fancy yourself a trucker. And then Monkey. There are no solid details on Monkey stage. I think it may be different for everyone. But it's that point where, even though you're so close to your destination that you can taste it, you just HAVE to stop. And, that 4 roomed dump where you just leave the money in an envelope and take the key off the pegboard seems like a "good idea". I stayed in that place... twice.

The first time I stayed there was when I was traveling from Idaho to Illinois. We'd passed up several other places but eventually we got to that point where "anything would do". We pulled off at the very next exit that hinted at a hotel. Pulled into a horse shoe shape drive with a row of tiny rooms. The place where you "checked in" had a pegboard outside an office that was closed. The painted on instructions encouraged us to take a key. Other cars and missing room numbers told us there were other people staying her. So we grabbed a key and headed to the last room, on the end, where there was more room to park the truck. We opened the door and were dumb struck.

Brown and burgundy shag carpet covered the floor. An obvious path was worn in the carpet between the door, the bed, and the bathroom. A small affair, there was barely enough room to walk between the bed and any other wall. Then center of the bed dipped in like a bowl. In a small nook a small TV sat atop a larger TV. Neither of them worked. 70's era faux-wood panel hung on the walls. The curtains were dusty and looked like they hadn't been opened in years. Trauma keeps me from being able to describe the bathroom in any detail. The cup bed forced and intimate sleeping arrangement as there simply was NO WAY to not roll or slide slowly toward the middle. We slept fully clothed atop the blankets. When morning dawned and our uneasy sleep broke, we woke up laughing, freshened up as much as we felt we could, and headed. As I headed toward the flickering "Open" sign, another patron on his way back to his mini van told me "there's no one in there. There's just a note to leave your money in an envelope with your room number on it." We laughed at each other and I did as the note indicated.

I would tell people about this place for years to come. It easily outdid the trucker hotel with shag carpet halfway up the walls and an tissue dispenser set into the wall beside the bed (Eww) I'd stayed in on the way TO Idaho.

Oddly enough some 3-4 years later as Taks and I were moving from Canada to Colorado, we got to that same point of exhaustion where "any port in a storm" would do. She'd heard my tales about that fabled dive probably no less than once a year. It was passing into legend. And as we took the exit and headed down the road, as the hotel was several miles off of the exit, I started getting this feeling that I'd seen it all before. I laughed and told her "I think this is it. How crazy would that be?" And there it was; the horse shoe shaped drive, the pegboard. We stayed in the same room, with the same cup bed, the same two broken TV's, the same dusty, unopened curtains, the same carpet, and the same trauma inducing bathroom. In the morning there was actually someone in the office. They never looked up at me from their magazine. I can't remember if it was a mail or a female. Without a word I took the envelope with our room number on it, put the appropriate amount of money in, hung the key back on the pegboard and left without a single word exchanged. Though I did snag a business card, lest I ever forgot. If I still have that card, I'll give you guys the address and phone number. You know, in case you ever want to share the experience.

Speaking of sharing, if you have an incredible "dive" story, I'd love to hear it.

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Sorry the comic disappeared most of last week. I was scrambling to get the Kid registered for school, paperwork done, supplies purchase, and looking for a job. I still have IndieGoGo work left to do. I'm getting there folks. Slowly but surely.

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Did you guys know this game "could be a thing"?
DinoWars Evolution via KickStarter

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